Marjorie

 "Never be so clever you forget to be kind. Never wield so much power you forget to be polite." 

When I reflect back on past folks who I considered a leader, I can see such a distinct difference between those who care about their community and those who use their community to benefit themselves. A leader does not focus on themself, rather they focus on their community and those that they are engaging with. They take care of those around them and uplift their voices, encourage them to follow their passions. A leader focuses on community care and the wellbeing of an individual. They offer advice but do not give you the answers to the questions you ask. Rather, they encourage you to find your own answers, ones that others might not know or see. A gentle nudge and encouragement is crucial to how a leader interacts with those around them, but what is even more important is how the leader themself demonstrates that. 

"My boyfriend and I are going to go get dinner tonight, any recommendations?" I said once. 

"What kind of food do you and your partner like?" they responded. 

It was something as simple as demonstrating inclusive language outside of the work place that made me realize the difference between a leader and those in a position of power. To me, this small conversation was beacon of hope that there are these kinds of people who exist within the world that care about community and the impact that they have on that community. They demonstrated the difference between selfishness and selflessness with every interaction we have. 

I thought that I knew what a leader was, and that was someone who manipulated others to do their bidding because they had the power to do so. They abused their power to benefit themself and their own selfish wants. But this person, they showed me that it was possible to change and to continue to change throughout ones life - they modeled it to me. They taught me that being a leader does not mean being the president, the CEO, the director, or the lead in a show. Instead it is about empathy and compassion and caring about others on a human level. Remembering that we are more than the jobs we work and that everyone has so many other stressors, passions, and interests in their life. 

A leader sees their community and what they need and helps guide them to the route that they want. Slowing down, they taught me the difference between intent and impact. They taught me about social justice and white privilege but never once made me feel guilty for the privilege I held. Rather, they saw that I wanted to interrogate what this meant for me and my life and helped me find ways to do that. They guided me down a path that has completely changed my life trajectory and inspired me to want to be a leader like them. To be a person who cares and offers a helping hand.

This person was so monumental to me and my development as a person. They saw what I needed and tried to be that for me, tried to help me as much as they could. This was the first time that I saw what it was like to care and help others without expecting anything in return. They helped and cared simply because they valued their community and wanted to create a place where people could exist as their full selves. They showed me that a true leader does not need power, they need a heart.